Sewing and reaping.

52 mountainous kilometres.

Hot weather.

Cold weather.

Rain (lots of).

Beautiful, beautiful vistas.

Nasty pasty masquerading as jolly Liverpudlian.

Moon face.

Tiny humming birds.

Bleeding ear.

Poo, the worst kind.

More steps than you have ever seen in your life.

Jungle joy.

Wet sleeping bags.

Animal noises made by pasty-face, see above.

Dali Llama jokes. Too many (wasn´t funny the first time).

Welcome to the Inka trail 2011…

Erm..Why did nobody warn us?

If you are reading this and you have completed the Inca Trail would you kindly use the comments box below to explain WHY YOU DID NOT ATTEMPT TO DISUADE US!? Shame on you.

Basically, it´s a killer. Thank god we were doing it for charity. Really beautiful and all that, but seriously, all that rain, pleeaaase! Thank God it´s soo much better in the Summer, as we were frequently reminded by our Pachamama worshiping guide at every wet peak we reached.

On a serious note, two people died last week due to land-slides because of the adverse weather. This was casually dropped into conversation as we battled against the elements. Glup! Following this, the authorities had closed off the Sun-Gate (the final summit) for fear of more injuries. Worry not (Mums and Dads) we arrived back to Cusco safe.  

We struggled, we won´t lie. Dear Mr Shaman, where were you? We needed your nettles.

Our group of five was 50% lovely. Not a bad ratio but you know “I´m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here”, when the all go gradually crackers? Welcome to our world. Full report on that issue on return to Blighty.

After much praying and pleading to Hannah´s Red Indian necklace, the sun got his hat on for our arrival at Machu Picchu. Bootiful. Peaceful and breathtaking (literally). A true joy. Hannah felt lucky, Amy felt proud (considering knee-gate).

So, anyway, it´s done now isn´t it, yeah.

Praise be.

And the real pay off came yesterday when we journeyed to Urubamba to visit our charity.

We can´t even articulate how wonderful the place is. It really is. The people who work there are an absolute inspiration and we were welcomed and thanked so much. They have dedicated years of their lives to helping kids with disabilities or those from disadvantaged or abusive backgrounds. They have rehabilitated one family in particular, the children of which have suffered through the most horrific traumas imaginable. It was an honour to meet them and to be welcomed into, what is now, their haven. The charity have provided them with a home, a mother figure, food to eat, schooling and most importantly love.

We were given a tour of the centre and met all the members of staff, played games with the kids and learnt all about the amazing work they do.

So, from them, via us, to you… Thank you.  

They are thrilled with our donation and discussed with us where the money could be put to best use. They even asked us where we would like the money to be spent! Unbelievable kindness. We assurred them the money was theirs to spend as they wish. In that case, they told us that the money will probably be used for the physiotherapy room or perhaps to help get some of the older kids into work and encourage their integration into society. Wicked, yeah!

This is the last time we will ask you, we promise (we know that we have been shameless so far) but if you´ve not yet sponsored us, please help. Having seen the work they do there, against the odds, even the smallest of donations will make a difference.

www.justgiving.com/ewbsandpurds

4 days.  Aching calves.  Salty food.  Whining.  Crying.  Sleep deprivation…

Raising money for amazing people and making a difference= well worth it.

With love from A & H xx

PS. Thanks for all the comments, please keep them coming. It´s lovely to have a connection to home and we love reading them.

We´re so high up, Mummy!

Following our Jungle Fever, knackered as we were we plodded up to a beautiful craft town and market named Otavalo.  Checked into a lovely cheap hostel on the main square, with swell view of the market.  Locals craftspeople abundant, selling their homemade wares. 

Amoungst other things, we purchased some Groucho (our name for Gringo travellers) goodies, including some hippy style necklaces from a Red Indian.  We are good at haggling. 

"Estoy Estudente!"

Our Llama jumpers a joy to behold.  Our favourite phrase when talking to local merchants was “Necessito Llama” (“I need Llama”).  They are soft and lush.  In the evening went to a street food market.  Hannah ate a skewer of dubious meats and Amy ate lots of sweetcorn.  It is lucky that this is one of her favourites of all the corns.

We had a breakdown the next day, owing partly to THIS BLOG.  IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT.  When writing our Jungle entry, computer crashed and we lost the lot.  Considering it takes 5 mins to upload a photo (and much longer to conjour our tales) this was our least favourite moment.

Got bus back to Quito and stayed with Lesly at Hostel Lesly.  Lesly smells of drains and did not help add to our mood.  Three low moments followed… Hannah was in the shower when to her joy, head full of shampoo, the water ceased.  Itchy scalp, Madam?  The event  occurred following her biggest downfall to date.  Literally.  When running downstairs to return keys to Lesly, a smug rug took the ground from under her feet.  The thump could be heard up and down Lesly´s rancid passages.  Sprainage? 

Several moments after these events, Amy discovered that she had left her i-pod on the crummy bus from Otavalo.  There were some tears, we are not going to lie to you.  HOWEVER, it was revealed to be in Hannah´s bag.  God bless Hannah.

We decided to put these events behind us and enjoy our travel to next destination… Peru!  Up at 4.30 am to catch flight (Please note- Amy had her first full conversation in Spanish with someone this morning and it made her proud.  He worked at Hostel Lesly and may have been called Lesly). 

At the airport... Here´s how it went…

A&H- Hola, we would like to check in please.

Claudia Sourpuss – All of your flights are cancelled.  All of them. (nb. We have 6 more flights booked with this airline)

A&H – Perdon?  How?  What? Que?

Claudia Smackedarse – You have to buy new flights.

A&H - …..&%/·$!? *pause*  Can we call London office to sort this out?

Claudia Lemonsucker – No.  It´s the system.

This conversation continued, heatedly, eventually metamorphasising into a verbal bashing for 20 minutes.  Amy and Hannah were going to cry or kill someone.

Eventually they found our flights (apology?  Nah!  Who wants one?) and we were on our way… or were we?  *suspicious look to Camera B*

Arrived in Lima for our connecting flight to Cusco.  Checked in, all fine so far.  Except… our flight does not seem to be on the departures board.  For 3 hours.  And all TACA staff mysteriously vanished.  Mass bamboozlement of angry travellers.  After several hours of silent treatment from TACA,  informed that our flight was infact cancellado, owing to rain (funny that, as every other airline was getting there ok, YOU MORONS).

Then Hannah lost her passport.  Dark.  Much darkness.  Help us find the light.

And light there was.  Passport found.  Complimentary 4* hotel in Lima, 3 course lunch, 3 course dinner, massive breakfast, re-booked flights for next morning and a HOTEL ROOOOOOOM.  Clean and sweet as the sweetest of nuts.

Here it is.  It made us so happy…

There was dancing on the landing and much watching of cable TV (namely Phantom of the Opera, with Spanish subtitles.  Every day is a school day).  Tears of joy.  Cheers TACA, you MAY have escaped a malicious e-mail.  Claudia, you MAY be going down.  Only time will tell.

Arrived in Cusco this morning.  Stunning vista. 

We are very high up here and altitude is a challenge.  Mainly because we are short of Oxygen which makes us want to sleep or laugh like loons.  Slept like a dog on Nytol this afternoon before meeting our Inka Trail guide.  Got all info for trail tomorrow.  Excited and nervous.  Amy is going to text the Shaman about her knee, to see if he can prescribe any more painful and ineffective treatments.  Perhaps rubbing poison Ivy into the area?  Or the bite of a large jungle cat?

We await his response. 

Meanwhile, THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS SPONSORED US ON OUR TREK.

If you have not done so, fear not!  There is still time…

www.justgiving.com/ewbsandpurds

That´s all for now, folks.  Catch ya after the challenge.

A & H xxx 

Cup of tea ready? Then we shall begin...

Where do we start?  Journey was as expected.  Hell.  8 hours on coach at night with Spanish dubbed film blaring out of every speaker, followed by 3 hour wait in hotel lobby (nap on a marble floor, anyone?), followed by another 2 hours on a bus, followed by 2 hours on a motorised canoe.  But when we reached our destination... Woweee.

On journey to our lodge we spotted (we are having a breakdown writing this because there´s just so much to say!) Sloth, Toucans, Macaws and... Monkeys!!!!

Our eco lodge (Samona Lodge) was great.  No electricity of course, but we are so at one with nature that we lapped it up.  Literally.  Candle light romantic evenings anyone?  Yes please.  Open flame dangerously close to fabric curtain anyone?  Mmmmm.  One night we had several guests in our room which we enjoyed.  We entertained a tree frog (corner of room above Amy´s head), 2 cockroaches (one in Amy´s bed, one in Hannah´s washbag) and an arrogant MASSIVE grasshopper style beast.  We hate arrogance, especially in insects.

On the first night we went in our motorised canoe to the Laguna Grande, to see the Sunset.  Bootiful….

We were on the Equator line.  It was pretty emotional.  So much so that we stopped talking for once.   Back at the lodge we went searching for bugs with our lovely guide, Marie-Anna.  And we found loads of beasties, including…

Tarrantula!  We both held her and she was oh so soft and light. 

Ate dinner (3 courses, mind you) and straight to bed.

On the second day we visited a local native village.  They showed us how to make Yuka bread we learnt about their cultures.  However, most importantly, they had a PET MONKEY!  His name was Nacho and he climbed all over us.

Swam in the river, Piranha es no problem para us.  Then off to see the Shaman.  Using hallucinogenic vines, he can see inside people and heal them.  His head-dress was made of toucan and macaw feathers.  After he had given us a demonstration and told us about his life and work (in beautiful, dulcet tones), he invited anyone with an ailment to step up and be cured.  Great!  A chance for Amy to fix her clicky knee before the Inca trail. 

The shaman likes to cure people.  The shaman likes to cure people using stinging nettles. 

Ouch.

We walked (Amy limped) into the forest and tried Cacao fruit and Guava.  We thanked the Shaman (Amy less so) and went on our jolly way.

We went on a night walk through the forest and saw some x-rated insect action.  WHAT is the white stuff??

Amy's knee feels pretty much the same, only a bit more stingy. 

In the evening we got a bit tipsy with our group, and we became LIBRO … Liberated or free in Spanish.   Heronimo told us so.  Heronimo (Jeronimo!- Very funny joke when drunk) worked at the camp and spoke about as much English as we do Spanish so communication was hard, but we had a good crack.  Sat out late on the jetty, listening to the sounds of the rainforest and looking at the stars.  Magic. Heronimo tried to feed us a potent drink which we think was red wine and rum.  Fave.  We went to bed.

Unfortunately Hannah was attacked during the night by a hoard of mosquitoes.  Bitten about 100 times.  Not an exaggeration.  Winner.

Amy´s knee does not seem to feel any better.

In the morning we walked through the rainforest and stalked a deer with our trusty canoe driver Caramello.  We had to navigate through bogs and test our balance ability.  We did not fall in, which was excellent. In the afternoon swam in the river some more and then we went Piranha fishing (Amy pretended to fish a bit but did not put on any bait) and Hannah got silently furious and competitive when she was not being successful.  Thank God (for Amy´s sake) that she caught one in the end.  They were released back into the river with a story to tell (“You will NEVER guess what just happened to me!”  “Don´t make things up, Pete- you lying Piranha Prat”  “I did!”  “Just ignore him, he only wants attention”).

We feel like we have not mentioned animals enough, but trust us they were everywhere.  Lots of crazy birds, including the Hoatzin which was Amy´s fave…

Some ants taste like lemon.  We know that now.  This is because Marie-Anna made us pick some off a tree and lick them.  Which we did with gusto (Mucho Gusto?). 

That evening we went searching for Caiman.  And we found them.  Lots of them.  Their beedy little red eyes poking out of the water all around our boat.  Scary biscuits!  At one point we were surrounded by 7 of the blighters. 

That night we were told that we should go dancing with Heronimo.  He was rather excited about the prospect.  We slipped off to bed to avoid said encounter, and promptly learnt the phrase “Tengo Novio” (I have a boyfriend).

The next morning, we saw The Biggie… Caiman Negro.  Grande.

This bad boy can grow up to 8 metres and he had no trouble with us driving the canoe right up in his grill.  He could take us.  He knew it.  We knew it. 

Up at 5.30 that morning, looking for dolphins in the mist.  Sadly, no joy BUT we did see some more monkeys!  Yay!  Capuchin this time and an active little troop, swinging from tree to tree. 

Back to the camp to pack.  Heronimo (Jeronimo!) ignored us all morning which was rather amusing.  When we said goodbye he turned the other cheek.  I think he hoped we might settle with him in the rainforest.  A nice idea mate.

We must finish now for fear of rambling. We had such an amazing time here  and we hope we got across the general wonderfulness! Hopefully more photos to come...So much more to tell but we are spent.

Hasta luego buddies.

H & A xx

PS. How was Chesney? Mole report required.

PPS Happy Birthday Uncle Rob.

Baños bonanza

Hola Amigos!

Us again.

Top tip: when someone in Ecuador tells you that a bus journey will be 2.5 hours, this translates to 5 of your English hours! The journey to Baños was poo and when we arrived we were grumpy bastards and were too hungry to speak to eachother. We swiftly checked in to the infamous Hostel Transylvania (aptly named as were to discover!) We were greeted by a midget named Roberto. Flirto Roberto. Roberto likes to flirt. Loose animals everywhere, not exclusively but including budgies, fat hamsters, oversized roaming rabit, a dog and a fish in saucepan. Roberto loves animals and our eyes.

We tried to swing a cat in our room (there was one available with Roberto downstairs) but we couldn´t. There was a delicious arorma of drains seeping from our sticky bathroom. We proceded to conduct a new fruit experiment, purchasing unknown fruits from a swindling old bag, who charmed us with her gypsy ways, charging 2 whole dollars for our wares. One fruit smelt of sick (or was that coming from the shower?) and tasted of soap. We will NOT eat this one again. Hannah´s favourite was a cheeky little number that looked...

...like frog spawn. The texture was not to Amy's liking. But she did enjoy a tomato-type beaut. Hannah tried the skin and it was foul.

Spent the evening in a nice local bar and up early this morning to start our volcano based pampering. Massage in the morning (Hannah's first proper one ever!) then off to Picinas de la Virgen . No comment.

The hot springs are fed by active volcano, Tungurahua. Soz for ommiting this life-threating natural hazard. The vista, oh the vista...

That´s a bloody waterfall that is. Directly above the delicious pools of sweet, sweet mineral-enriched joy. There are two main pools. One of which gave Hannah a heat rash. It was so bloody hot, it really was. Amy did not get a heat rash, is Hannah a wimp?

Back off to the town for check-out. Bye Roberto. Wander round and lunch with a potent local drinky made from sugar cane and muchos alcohol. Lavly!

Rainforest manaña. Starting our night (mare?) coach journey in a few ours, 11pm local time. Will be in primary jungle (yes we said primary) for several days and will be incommunicdo. Gotta see a monkey about a sloth. Check ya laters.

Love H & A

P.S. Happy holiday Dan and Jon

P.P.S. Yes, we have taken the first few anti-malarial tablets, fear not.

 

We hate to brag but...

Hola! We are having a brilliant time.  So much to report back already.  Blimey oh rimey...

Medellin, Colombia

The flight from London to Medellin was long as sin, but went relatively smoohtly.  We were flying with Iberia and shocked to discover that they have no entertainment system on board.  Que??!  So, Amy made Hannah complete Spanish tests throughout the journey, which she may not have enjoyed, but was good for her overall character development. We got some great new stamps in our passport.  This is very important.

We arrived at the Finca (Farm for those of you who unlike us, do not speak fluent Spanish) at 9pm which was 2am UK/bodyclock time, having travelled for 22 hours.  Although we looked like a couple of hobos, Pietro collected us from the Aiport and we drove home to be greeted by Gabriella, Maria Pas and Rosie (and Terry the Terrier).  The drive up to the house was amazing, with huge leaves illuminated by the headlights of the truck.  It looked like we were entering a film set.

Rosie fed us a lovely Arepa de Chocolo and a fresh Guava juice, and we fell asleep.

Morning has broken.  Sunshine... yessssss.  We were given a tour of the Finca which was amazing, picked some coffee beans and ate a Guava straight off the tree.  Sweet sweetness. 

Mid morning we went for a horse ride which was stunning.  The horses will great to ride and everyone was so friendly when we passed.  Views = Phoenom.  Our bums are sore. 

We had lunch on the way to the airport with the family, trying some local delicacies.  Including rum.  NOTE- Rum in Colombia is nice, unlike rubbish UK rum.  We cannot yet be sure of this, however and shall endevour to carry out more research on this matter.

Thank you to all the family for making our little stop over in Colimbia such a joy. Looking forward to our return!!

Cardinal, Dimante and Caramello.  Our trusty steeds.

                                               Hats and matching glasses.  Class.

View on our horse ride.

The finca!

Quito, Ecuador

Arrived no problem, checked into a lovely hostel in which we seem to have wangled the pent house suite, with amazing views over the city and to nearby Cotopaxi (Which one is Cotopaxi?!! Someone tell us!)

Atitude?  No altitude effects.  No problemo para us.

 

Guess what?  We are going into the Amazon in a few days.  Spent the morning booking our trip.  We cannot wait to see monkeys.  We told this fact to the tour operator who advised us not to feed the monkeys or they will be "knocking on your door all night".  Did she think that would stop us?  That is what we want from the monkeys.  We are going to buy bananas and rub ourselves with their skins in order to attract the little beasts.

Been to the Compañia church today which was glittery and gorge.  We discussed religion, philosophy and mispronunciation of words.  Then we had a beer.

Eating amazing food everywhere and everyone is SO friendly.  They laugh at us and with us.  An ideal combination (combinacion).

Tomorrow we are travelling by Bus to Baños for hot spring fun and danger in the shape of white water rafting and/or tubing.  Please note - Danger in the loosest sense of the word, Mums.

Report back soon.

Hasta Luego.

With Love,

H & A xxxx

p.s. Happy Birthday Olivia!

p.p.s. Louise and Henry... Glad you are feeling better, such good news.

p.p.p.s Gypsies are mean, but BMW´s are good.

Compañia, Quito. 

Hola from Quito

We are both safe and sound in Quito. Pretty knackered though so a big blog in the morning plus pics maybs.
H & A xxxx

We are currently sat at the airport eating beans on toast mmmmm. Pretty excited! We were offered a mug or a cup of tea. After some thought, we decided on a mug as the volume would be greater. These are the sort of decisions we will be making on our great adventure in South America. Watch this space...

Peace and love,

Han and Amy x

Watching Karl pilkington do the inca trail is not giving me much confidence. Too excited to sleep so cramming in some Spanish revision. 8 hours til we fly, got to catch some ZZZZZZZ!!

Miss you all already.

Oh remember www.justgiving.com/ewbsandpurds PLEASE DONATE

Love x

Sitting in the national theatre cafe, like the poncey actor that I am, less than 24hours before we go. I'm pretty much bricking it. Had a dream last night that the flight was this morning and I missed it! Terrible but an improvement on the previous two night's dreams, one where my dog got shot and mrs pilch was playing the trumpet and the other I had a mouse-tail.

Spending the day meeting up with friends, the lovely Kim being first. I hope the trip lives up to the build up it's getting!

Anyway this entry was supposed to just be a little test and it seems I have been rambling.

Can't wait to see our Amy in the morning (4.30!!!)

Love you bye love you bye love you bye x x